well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
