I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
