The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
