it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
