Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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