So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
