It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
