if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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