Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
