The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
