Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize