It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
