school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
