thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
