Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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