last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
