a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
