Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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