non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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