is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
