I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
