your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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