I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
