You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
this hospital has no fireball
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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