My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
even my farts smell like vagina
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
