i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
