Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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