I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
