Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
