I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
