I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Did I show you my penis last night?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
