gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
