I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
