All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
