I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking