I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album