I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night