At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
