No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
