OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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