i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
