these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
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so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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