.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
