I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
