i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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