Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
