I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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