we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
