Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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