Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
