There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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