so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
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I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize