this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
