There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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