Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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