Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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