Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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