is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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