I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
