the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
